Tag: corona virus

Covid is Real

Covid is real.

I have seen it firsthand. It is horrific. It is heartbreaking. It is isolating. It is real. It is a pandemic.

Patients are overflowing the hospitals. Families cannot be at bedside. Teams are short-staffed. Health care workers are burned out. Front line providers are suffering from compassion fatigue.

Covid is real.

Nurses, doctors, and their families have been quarantined because they had covid.

Respiratory departments were almost half-staff because an entire team was hit with the virus.

An environmental service employee cried as she shared about her near death experience with Covid with fear trembling in her voice.

Hundreds of staff members have to be tested after they came in contact with patients who didn’t know they were positive.

Departments have lost colleagues because Covid took them too soon.

Colleagues have lost family members to the darkness of this pandemic.

Covid is real.

When I stood outside a patient’s room, to support her family. They stared into the room, lost in their anger and grief. They not only grieved the death of their mother but also their loss of not being able to touch her, hold her hand, or kiss her goodbye.

Covid is real. 

When I talked to his wife on the phone after I visited her husband in the Covid ICU. She asked a question, grasping for any glimpse of hope, “How does he look?” She knew he struggled with his breathing and would require intubation if it didn’t improve. That night he was intubated and never made it home.

Covid is real. 

When I held the hand of a nurse and prayed at his bedside. He was on the covid unit, not as a nurse but as a patient. I held his hand as he struggled to breathe. Just like every other nurse, he was caring for others, who were struggling with the same pain. Just like every other nurse, he sacrificed his health to continue to serve in his role. Just like every other nurse, he returned back to work to continue his calling.

Covid is real.

When I received my positive test result on Christmas Eve after being symptomatic. I was quarantined at home, alone, for ten days and stayed home to recover for another seven.  I had a mild case and am still dealing with remnants of that impact. Given what I witnessed in the deaths and grief of many, I was blessed with a mild case of this reality. 

Given what I witnessed standing with two sons, who stood outside their dad’s room, as their dad took his last breath. I was honored to watch the Respiratory Therapist and the Nurse, held their dad’s hands for comfort and propped up the tablet as his wife talked to him on the video..I was blessed with a mild case of this reality.

Covid is real.

When I returned to work and two days later, sat at a patient’s bedside, holding his hand. He had tested positive for Covid and was mourning the loss of his wife. She died of Covid less than 24 hours ago and he was not able to be there with her. 

Covid is real.

And if you think it’s a hoax, a prank, or some conspiracy theory; you are painfully wrong. You and your family may not have been impacted by the Corona virus (thus far) but you have clearly been impacted by something worse……a loss that is beyond my level of understanding. 

What I do understand is this……

Covid is real.

And may you never find out just how real it is.

Finding Gratitude in 2020

This is the Thanksgiving Meditation I prepared for the 2020 Thanksgiving Service at the hospital. Unfortunately, the service was cancelled. I didn’t want the meditation to go to waste. As I reread it this morning, I realized I needed to hear the message more than I thought. Maybe someone else needs it, too.

lifeline

“If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.” — Rabbi Harold Kushner

What can we say about 2020? We are standing here, just two days before Thanksgiving and the beginning of the holiday season. We are shaking our heads and wondering what can happen next, what can go wrong again? We struggle with finding hope, finding joy and finding gratitude given the year we have had. The emotions have been all over the place.

For example, have you felt any of these emotions?

SadnessGriefAngerDepressedAnxious
FearDisappointedStressedHateTired
LonelyWorriedLostConfusedHurt
NervousEmptyShockedTenseHopeless

If you have felt one, two, ten, or all of these emotions, that is completely understandable. This year has been a roller coaster of uncertainty and fear of not knowing what’s coming. With the holidays approaching, it may feel like we are on a downward spiral of emotions. The Holidays of 2020 won’t be the traditional ones that we are accustomed to. In order to protect our loved ones from illness, we may not have Thanksgiving in person this year. There are families who are divided and angry that they aren’t spending the time together. Many people have lost jobs and they don’t want to celebrate. Worst of all, many have lost loved ones that will never be seen during the holidays again. Yes, the emotions ran the gamut.

But, does it have to remain that way, the downward spiral of our spirits?  What about other emotions. Have you felt any of the following uplifting emotions?

HappyInspiredGiddyHopefulPeace
GratefulHumbledDeterminedOptimisticCourageous
JoyfulSillyLovedBlessedHonored
FreeAppreciativeAcceptedAmusedExcited

What if we look back on 2020 differently? Can we look for the times when we experienced the uplifting emotions?  Maybe someone in your family graduated from school or college. Did you get to spend more quality time with your children or parents at home? Did you learn new games or new information about your loved ones that you didn’t know?  I started a new hobby that helps me to cope. Maybe you did, too. Did any friends or family get married? Had children? New pets in the home? Or a favorite of many, did someone make you laugh so hard that your gut and cheeks started to hurt. 

As Rabbi Kushner reminds us, if we can concentrate on the good in any situation (and that includes 2020), we might begin to see things differently. During this Thanksgiving season let us change our focus. Let’s look at the year in a different light and see what good came from what we have experienced this year.

There are so many things that happened this year that were out of our control. We have to remember what we do have control of and that is our focus, our spirit, and yes, we also have control over ourselves. In the midst of broken traditions this year, let’s start a new one. Focus on something different. There is nothing or nobody that can change what you want to focus on if you don’t allow them. You can change your focus and remind yourself of the good that you experienced this year. You can change the focus and remind yourself of the uplifting emotions that you felt. You can look back and see the incredible strength and resilience that it took to make it through this challenging year.

Yes, Thanksgiving will look a little different this year.

The table may not look the same but with a resilient soul and strong faith, we can still set the table however we want to. As we plan the day, we can remember the good and how we felt and how we got through this year, stronger than ever. I have no doubt that as we remember, we will also find a renewed spirit, a sense of joy and a new found gratitude. I bet if we can do that, not only will the food nourish our body but finding gratitude will nourish your soul.

Amen.